Hijab and Fitting in
When I first became Muslim I knew and accepted the fact that I had to wear the niqab as a Muslim woman, but I really hated the way I looked in it.
When I gave birth to my first child, a daughter, I felt apprehensive that one day she would also have to wear the hijab. How she would be accepted by society, and by my non Muslim family?
And I know I’m not the only Muslimah to have such apprehensions about the hijab at one point or another. In my 20 years of being Muslim I have seen hijab wearing mothers support their daughters in abandoning the hijab because its not the norm in their environment. Wearing it then would make it difficult to fit in apparently.
We have made the hijab such a complex thing in our minds only because it doesn’t fit into the western standards of beauty today.
When you look at western history a woman covering her head had nothing to do with oppression or beauty and it was something normal. Since the west have pretty much abandoned that, along with the rest of their clothes for the most part we as Muslims have reduced the hijab which is a covering for the whole of the Muslim woman's body into simply a piece of cloth that covers the hair.
And in many cases barely so, and still with this minimalist approach to what Allāh has commanded us as His female slaves we still go further to diminish it to nothing by trivialising it.
We say that it’s difficult to do, we say that we don’t want to be stared at or stand out. We say that we don’t feel like we are in the right stage of our religious practice.
Hijab has never been a measure about how practicing you are as a Muslim woman. It is simply a command from Allah, an obligation that we obey. It doesn’t make us perfect or better than anyone else. Yet at the same time it points outwardly as to what we should believe inwardly and that is that we are Allāh’s servants who have happily and willingly chosen to submit to His orders.
The only time a human being whether male or female can be truly free is when they submit to Allāh’s will. Otherwise we will be slaves to the whims and desires of others as well as the whims and desires of our own selves.
We have a huge problem across our Muslim cultures where we measure our worth and achievements with a western ideology stick.
Why do we get excited when we are given some form of recognition or credit by them? Is it because our own communities have failed to make us feel as if we are worthy of anything?
Why do we seek validation from human beings at the expense of lowering our status in the eyes of Allah?
Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported:
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “When Allah loves a slave, calls out Jibril and says: ‘I love so-and-so; so love him’. Then Jibril loves him. After that he (Jibril) announces to the inhabitants of heavens that Allah loves so- and-so; so love him; and the inhabitants of the heavens (the angels) also love him and then make people on earth love him”.
Sahih Bukhari 3037, Sahih Muslim 2637
We need to look at ourselves much deeper. When we disobey Allah in order to please others what does it mean? Surely we are abandoning, even if temporarily our loyalty to The Creator of the heavens and the earth for a temporary approval from a created being that may or may not be impressed with us in doing so.
How then can one be happy when constantly being at the mercy of the approval of others? How can we love ourselves more?
Today so many of us have so little self worth that many of us are in depression and anxiety over what we believe is expected of them from others. In fact if we were to put this same mentality purely focused in the direction of what Allāh wants, that is, truly taking every action in our lives purely for the sake of Allah then wouldn’t we be happier human beings?
Your hijab therefore and any other act of worship that you do for the sake of Allah is only a symbol and expression of your freedom from the bondage of this world and all it carries.
So next time you stick out for wearing the correct hijab remember that this world is not our home. It is not our final abode. We are travelers that will move on from here and into the not so distant eternity where we will be faced with either real happiness or real sadness. Real pleasure or real pain, real achievement or real loss.
Blend in or stick out, our final destination is one of two.
The Niqabi Diaries is a podcast dedicated to sharing the stories of the Muslim women who have experience wearing the face veil.
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